how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Randomize
