My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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