If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
