you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Randomize
