The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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