As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
