Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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