I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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