Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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