You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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