New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
