Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
PANTIES FOUND
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
