so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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