it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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