I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
