I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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