But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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