she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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