Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
