after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
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