It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
