I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
God I need to hump something, right now.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
