I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
