Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
