I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
North Korea, Best Korea!
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
