Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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