I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
