I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Randomize
