no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
