I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize