but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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