I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
