She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
