Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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