Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
