he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
