My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
