Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
