I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
