i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
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