sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
