So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Is it because I queefed?
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
i think im in europe. pls send help
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
