I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
He felt like a one man threesome
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
