Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
