I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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