it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
