You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Define "chronic" masturbator.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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