there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
