the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
