i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
